22 Comments
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JZ&Pen's avatar

"I’m so concerned with being great—I forget how important it is to be good." (A good line from a good heart)

Cole Schafer's avatar

This was very kind.

Bridget's avatar

This one hit hard. Optimizing everything all the time comes at a cost. Glad we didn't lose the greats to this trait. My grandmother was a soft, strong, gentle fighter who lived to travel the world with friends and experience life deeply with those she cared about. I was blessed to know her and think of her often when I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill or obsessing with what "needs to be done." She was here long enough to give me a perspective and experience with presence I'll cherish forever. I'm working on being worthy to pass it along - by trusting it and living it - not optimizing it.

Cole Schafer's avatar

Previous generations (like your grandmother’s) had a poetic way of living slower. They might have gotten less done, but they seemed to be much happier.

Saffi's avatar

My mother also salted her beer.

And ordered extra gravy for her biscuits.

She danced every chance she got.

She loved perfume and jewelry, and set her hair every week until she had a stroke. Then my sister, who lived right down the street, did it.

Cole Schafer's avatar

This is beautiful. My grandmother would set her hair every week, too. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother’s stroke.

Saffi's avatar

My mom lived several years after her stroke, and found ways to enjoy her life.

Sarah Todman's avatar

💜💜💜 loved reading

Vitalii's avatar

Such a great story thanks Cole

annie & words's avatar

It is all part of “The Process”… & may we rest in that.

Lisa's avatar

I loved this so much. Thank you for writing it. I have a draft I started several days ago about my grandmother who will be 100 in January and has never once thought about lifting weights or not having that piece of pie... I do agree. We've lost the plot. And honestly, I'm so done with it. Your Papa and my grandma should be all the proof we need.

Zarina Ivanova's avatar

Intuition and organic intelligence are the most underrated wellness hacks

Penn Locke's avatar

I've been thinking a lot about this lately a lot too. In fact, just this morning I said to my wife "You know how they say people have 'Ozempic face' I think I can spot 'Optimize face' like I can tell by looking at someone they are counting everything and not enjoying the moment."

And she surprised me by saying "Yeah...you totally can."

All this to say...your Papa sounds awesome.

Cole Schafer's avatar

I like this. And, I agree. They give the impression of a cyborg rather than a human. There is no emotion. No lifeblood. No spirit. Just metrics that need to be beaten.

Bob Cardenas's avatar

Emblematic of many too caught up with ourselves

Cole Schafer's avatar

We’re a product of the times.

The Drillers Digest's avatar

I was one of those Oura ring/Apple watch trackers, I was double tracking, steps, sleep, my score. Only made me feel worse. If I didn’t meet my step targets for the day or I didn’t get enough REM according to my ring then my day was over. I got rid of them all and got an old Casio watch, I wear plenty of rings just not anything that tracks me. I still train and get my daily walk in and if I don’t then it’s no big deal.

Cole Schafer's avatar

Sometimes optimization culture turns every moment into an opportunity for failure. That’s a lot of pressure.

The Drillers Digest's avatar

That’s what it felt like. Constant pressure to hit this imaginary mark you set for yourself. I’m all about looking and feeling good and training is a huge part in that. But just do the thing, consistently, put less food in your gob and sleep well and you’ll be ok.

Erich Lyttle's avatar

All I needed was another excuse to not work out today. Thx

Cole Schafer's avatar

You’re welcome.